What Parents Should Say as Their Kids Perform

By Tim Elmore

In my work at Growing Leaders, we enjoy the privilege of serving numerous NCAA and professional sports teams each year. After meeting with hundreds of coaches and athletes, I noticed an issue kept surfacing in our conversations. Both the student-athlete and the coach were trying to solve the same problem.  What was that problem?

The parents of the student-athletes.

kids perform

You may or may not believe this, but even in Division One athletics, parents stay engaged with their child’s sport, often at the same level they did through their growing up years. Moms will call coaches and advise them on how to encourage their daughter or son. Dads will call coaches and ask why their kid isn’t getting more playing time. Parents will call strength and conditioning coaches and inquire what they’re doing about their child’s torn ligament. Each of these calls is understandable. After all, no one has more at stake than the parent of a performer. They love their child, they’ve invested in their child and they want to see a “return on their investment.” Some athletes refer to their mom as their P.A. (personal assistant) or their agent. I know a mother who watches her collegiate daughter’s gymnastics practice behind the glass, all the while, calling and leaving voicemails for the coach on what should be done for her little girl. I even know sets of parents who moved into a condo across the street from their freshman athlete’s university. They didn’t want to miss a thing, and they certainly didn’t want to neglect to provide direction. I understand this. I am a father of two kids myself.

What we parents may not recognize is the pressure and angst this kind of involvement applies. May I tell you what student-athletes are telling me?

  1. I love my mom, but when she does this, I get the feeling she doesn’t trust me.
  2. My parents are great, but I feel like I have multiple coaches telling me what to do and I get stressed out over it.
  3. I’m getting blackballed by my teammates because my mother keeps texting me and my coach, to give suggestions. I wish she would chill.
  4. I feel like I’m never quite good enough; I can never fully please my parents.

Moving From Supervisor to Consultant

According to years of research on athletes, I believe parents have a more productive impact on their kids by making a change in their style. When our kids were younger, we played the role of supervisor. We were right there on top of the issues. And we should be—they were young and needed our support. As they age, parents must move to the role of consultant. We’re still involved, still supportive, but we allow our kids to grow up and self-regulate. When we fail to do this—we can actually stunt their growth. It’s a bit like teaching our kids to ride a bike. Remember this process?  First, we gave them a tricycle. The three wheels made it almost impossible for them to fall off, and they got used to peddling a vehicle. Then, they moved to a bicycle. It was bigger and had only two wheels. A little more scary. So we initiated them on that bike with training wheels. That prevented bad accidents. Eventually, however, we took the training wheels off, and our involvement became a tender balance of two ingredients: support and letting go. Did you catch that? Support and letting go.

What We Should Say When Our Kids Perform

The most liberating words parents can speak to their student-athletes are quite simple. Based on psychological research, the three healthiest statements moms and dads can make as they perform are:

Before the Competition:                                    After the competition:

  1. Have fun.                                                    1. Did you have fun?
  2. Play hard.                                                    2. I’m proud of you.
  3. I love you.                                                    3. I love you.

Six Simple Words…

For years, I wondered what the student-athlete would say about this issue. After decades of work with athletes, Bruce E. Brown and Rob Miller found out. They suggest six simple words parents can express that produce the most positive results in their performing children. After interacting with students, they report:

College athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame. Their overwhelming response:

“I love to watch you play.”

That’s it. Those six words. How interesting. How liberating to the parent. How empowering to the student-athlete. No pressure. No correction. No judgment. (That’s the coach’s job). Just pure love of their child using their gift in competition.

When I learned this, I reflected on the years my own kids competed in sports, recitals, theatrical plays, and practices. Far too often, I wanted to play a role that added more stress to their life. Instead, I now realize—I just need to love them. And to love watching them play.

From a parent’s view—this is the best way to cultivate an emotionally healthy kid

– See more at: http://growingleaders.com/blog/what-parents-should-say-as-their-kids-perform/#sthash.R2u0etVy.dpuf

Shaolin Monk Balances On 2 Fingers

Exercises: Medicine Ball walk outs (for abs)

Put a medicine ball at your feet. Push your hips back without rounding your lower back. Place your hands on the med ball and slowly start walking your hands on top of the med ball driving it away from you. Walk your hands as far as you can without letting your hips sink, and then walk your hands backwards as you roll the ball back towards your feet.

Designing a Resistance Training Program

Supervised physical therapy may be helpful to ...

Supervised physical therapy may be helpful to overcome some symptoms. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

That’s Illinois University quide for designing a resistance training program according to your goals.

Your fitness goal

The first step to designing a resistance training program is establishing your fitness goal. The type and number of exercises, as well as the number of sets and repetitions will differ based on your fitness goal.

WEIGHT TRAINING PROGRAMS

Program Goal
Sets
Repetitions
Resistance
Rest between Sets
Endurance
3
15 to 25
50-65% of 1 Rep. Max
30 to 60 seconds
Health/Fitness
1 to 3
10 to 15
60-80% of 1 Rep. Max
30 to 60 seconds
Strength
3 to 6
5 to 6
80-88% of 1 Rep. Max
3 to 5 minutes
Size
3 to 6
8 to 12
80-85% of 1 Rep. Max
30 to 60 seconds
Power
3 to 6
2 to 4
80-90% of 1 Rep. Max
3 to 4 minutes

 

Table content taken from Essentials of Strength Training and Conditioning,
edited by Thomas Baechle for the National Strength and Conditioning Association.

Endurance and Health/Fitness programs are appropriate for inexperienced or currently inactive individuals. Strength and Power programs are appropriate for individuals training for sports. The Size Program is appropriate for individuals who wish to participate in bodybuilding.

Your fitness plan

The next step in designing your program is determining how many exercises you will include for each of the muscle groups. Below are 2 sample programs that will work well for nearly everyone. They can be adjusted based on your fitness goal. Each rotation should last 4-6 weeks.

Rotation 1

  • Rest 60 – 90 seconds between sets.
  • Try to maximize your last set (i.e. select a weight that let’s you complete your last few repetitions, although it’s difficult).
  • Include abdominal and low back exercises 3 days per week.
DAY 1

Muscle group

# of exercises

Chest
2
Back
2
Biceps
1
Triceps
1
DAY 2

Muscle group

# of exercises

Shoulders
2-3
Quadriceps
1
Hamstrings
1
Whole leg
1
Calves
1
DAY 3

Muscle group

# of exercises

Chest
2
Back
2
Biceps
1
Triceps
1

Rotation 2

  • Rest 60 – 90 seconds between sets.
  • Try to maximize your last set (i.e. select a weight that let’s you complete your last few repetitions, although it’s difficult).
  • Include abdominal and low back exercises 3 days per week.
DAY 1

Muscle group

# of exercises

Chest
2-3
Back
2-3
DAY 2

Muscle group

# of exercises

Biceps
2
Triceps
2
DAY 3

Muscle group

# of exercises

Shoulders
2
Quadriceps
1
Hamstrings
1
Calves
1
Whole leg
1

Exercise suggestions

The last step is choosing the specific exercises you want to do for each muscle group in your program. There are numerous ones, but some basic suggestions are below.

Upper Back
Prone/seated rows
Push-ups
Pull-ups
Lower Back
Superman
Trunk extension
The plank
Chest
Bench press (flat, incline, decline)
Flys
Push-ups
Biceps
Curls
Hammer curls
Preacher curls
Triceps
Dips
Overhead extension
Shoulders
Shrugs
Lateral raise
Front raise
Push-ups
Overhead press

Abdominals
Crunches
Trunk twists
The bicycle
The plank
Reverse crunches
Hamstrings
Leg curl
Quadriceps
Leg extension
Squats
Whole leg
Leg press
Squats
Gluteals
Squats
Lunges
Prone hip extension


Your resistance training program should be designed with your fitness goals in mind! However, every routine should share these elements:

  • Warm-up (aerobic) – five minutes low intensity to break a sweat. (Examples: running, cycling, walking, etc).
  • Pre-exercise stretching – hold at a gentle stretch for 15-20 sec., stretch muscles that you’ll be using during your workout. (Example: hamstrings, calves, quads and chest).
  • Post -exercise stretching & strengthening – 1 to 2 minutes/muscle groups for stretching, and add abdominal and low back strengthening if they have not been included in your weight training routine.
  • Order of Exercises: Start with large or multiple muscle groups (chest press, lat pull down, leg press and squats), followed by small muscle group (biceps, triceps, deltoids and calves).
  • Amount of weight: The correct weight should produce fatigue by the last repetition in each set, or determine resistance by using a percentage (typically 60-80%) of your one repetition maximum. (Example: If you can lift a maximum of 50 lbs. one time during leg extension, 70% of that would be 35 lbs.)
  • Rest: 48 to 72 hours between workout sessions for each muscle group.

Medicine Ball Partner Exercises

1. Lunge to Chest Pass: A dynamic move for a dynamic duo. Grab a medicine ball and face your partner, standing about 3-5 feet apart. Keeping the chest up, lunge forward, completing the movement with a crisp (and accurate!) chest pass to your partner. They’ll then catch it and head straight into their lunge-and-pass. Repeat for 10-12 reps each, or until Butterfingers tests your patience.

2. Single-Leg Chest Pass: Stand on one leg, about 4-6 feet from your partner. Keeping the core tight and the body stable, pass the rock back and forth using a basketball chest pass. Continue for 30-60 seconds. Switch legs. Be one move closer to J. Lin status.

3. Overhead Pass with Squat: Time to get up close and personal. Stand back-to-back with one partner holding a medicine ball overhead. The other will then reach up and grab it (klutzes take care!), followed by both buddies coming down into a low squat position. The partner with the ball will then roll it back between their legs for the other one to pick it up and start again. Continue for 10-12 reps, then switch!

4. Partner Floor Slams: This is one throw down you don’t want to miss. Badass #1 starts with a medicine ball overhead and slam it down to the ground so it bounces once before reaching Badass #2. With the core fully engaged (the power of the pass should come from the core as well), keep sending the ball back and forth for 10-15 reps each.

5. Partner Side Swing Pass: In a swing state of mind? Stand side-by-side, about five feet apart, in an athletic stance with the abdominals contracted. Keeping the arms straight, have partner #1 swing the ball from the outside of the body to the inside (pivoting the outside leg as you pivot), then toss the ball to partner #2. Repeat until you get the swing of things, and switch positions.

6. Partner Shuffle Drill: Bring it back to basketball camp. Facing your partner a few feet away, stand in a ready position with the knees slightly bent and core engaged. At “Go” shuffle for about 20 feet in one direction, while simultaneously tossing the medicine ball back and forth. Head back in the opposite direction to give both sides some love.

7. Sit-Ups Pass: Work the middle, times two. Start seated on the floor next to your partner, facing opposite directions, with knees bent. Holding the medicine ball to your chest, both recline to the floor, come back up, and pass the ball to your partner. Repeat for 10-15 reps, or until the core feels good and fired up.

8. V-Sit with Rotation and Pass: This one’s double trouble, for sure. Sitting on the floor about 1-2 feet away from your partner, with knees bent, hold the medicine ball to your chest with abs nice n’ tight. Next, both recline back a few inches and rotate one way and then the other (maintaining that rock hard core!). Return to starting position, and throw the ball to your partner. They’ll catch it and repeat the movement. Repeat for reps or time (90 seconds is no joke).

9. Kneeling Partner Twist: Partners in crime can hit the abs and obliques with this simple twofer move. Kneel back-to-back, and slowly twist to one side until you can hand off the ball to your partner. Then twist to the other side in order to retrieve the ball again (oh, hey there!). Continue for 60-90 seconds in one direction, then switch.

10. Hi-Low Twist: Start standing back-to-back, holding the medicine ball firmly in two hands. Twist toward your partner and raise the ball up high so you hand it off to them over your shoulder. They’ll grab it and do the same move, but meeting you down low on the other side. (Did we just become best friends? YUP!) Continue for 60-plus seconds in one direction — until you feel the heat in those arms, shoulders, and core — then switch directions.

Exercises: Single leg squat

One of the most commonly prescribed and most popular rehabilitation and injury prevention exercises to improve stability and functional strength is the Single Leg Squat. This exercise strongly develops the quadriceps and gluteals, with a complimentary boost to the hamstrings. It’s an excellent exercise for runners and triathletes because it stimulates the running movement.

SUPER HUMAN STRENGTH PULL UPS !!!

What these guys doing is beyond imagination!