Dog Guards Owner’s Bike!

This Golden Retriever in China is a local celebrity known for standing guard over his owners bicycle!

 

 

Female = Ironman

Bicycles should always be driven in cycling lines. Really?

Cyclist Casey Neistat went on a literal crash course in a bike lane as a way of protesting against a fine he received for riding outside one. YouTube users can’t get enough of the resultant video, which is really quite funny.

Now what?

Put The Fun Between Your Legs

Annoying Things to Do in an Elevator

elevator (Photo credit: Jose R. Borras)

1. Walk on with a cooler that is labeled “HUMAN HEAD” on the side.
2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”
3. Crack open your briefcase of purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?
4. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
5. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 
6. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
7. Meow occasionally.
8. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
9. Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM” and back away slowly.
10. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 
11. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
12. Annouce in a demonic voice, “I must find a more suitable host body.”
13. Say “Ding” at each floor.
14. Say “I wonder what all these do?” and push all the red buttons.
15. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 
16. Stare, grinning at another passenger for awhile, and then announce, “I have new socks on.”
17. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, “Is that your beeper?”
18. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
19. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is my personal space.”
20. When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you. 
21. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
22. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
23. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
24. Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”
25. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!” 
26. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
27. Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
28. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they’d like to play.
29. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
30. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. 
31. Ask, “Did you feel that?”
32. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
33. When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don’t panic, they open up again.”
34. Swat at flies that don’t exist.
35. Tell people that you can see their aura. 
36. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
37. Shave.
38. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
39. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on!”
40. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now… motion sickness!” 
41. Frown and mutter “gotta go, gotta go” then sigh and say “oops!”
42. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
43. Leave a box between the doors.
44. Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.
45. Start a sing-along. 
46. One word: Flatulence!
47. Do Tai Chi exercises
48. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!”
49. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler “Bad touch!” 
51. Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
52. Bring a chair along.
53. Lean against the button panel.
54. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, “Hide it…quick!” then whistle innocently.
55. Call out, “group hug!”, then enforce it.

Your Friendly Calories!

Calories:

Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night.

Huge Blunder By CNN

An incredible blunder made the CNN, and placed  Nicosia, Cyprus in Sicily, Italy.

American news network, one of the largest in the world, was caught unread on where is the capital of our country.

Specifically on the phone with the Portuguese ace APOEL, Nuno Morais, CNN had the map of Italy in Nicosia and placed in Sicily.

Office Dares

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ONE-POINT DARES

1. Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2. Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
3. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,”Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye.”
4. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
5. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way.”
6. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
7. While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINT DARES

1. Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
2. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, “Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”
3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).
5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

FIVE POINT DARES

1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself, 10 if you sing it through to the end).
2. Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Bob.”
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two.”
5. After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in “The report’s on your desk, Mon.” Keep this up for 1 hour.
6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, all of you just shut up!”
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “As God as my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”
9. In a colleague’s DAY PLANNER, write in the 10am slot: “See how I look in tights.”(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)
10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, “You wanna trade?”
11. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk about it.”
13. Posing as a maitre d’, call a colleague and tell him he’s won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
16. Hang a 2′ long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out, but don’t remove it.
17. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
18. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
19. Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

Lady Faster Than Cyclist

Even though he is trying so hard, the lady is still ahead of him!